Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Randomize
