After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
