I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
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i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
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female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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