Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
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