Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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