No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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