That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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