after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just pee around me
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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