help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
