im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
