I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
