at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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