I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
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A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
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Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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