right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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