"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
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then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
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No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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