why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
