38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
