no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
