My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
