So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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