Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha