Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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