Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
