If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
