My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
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