Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
