at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
