This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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