i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
