We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
