You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize