So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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