a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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