I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
