Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
