I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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