My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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