Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
