Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
