Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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