I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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