Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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