O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
