ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
