What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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