You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
