I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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