i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
