Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
