Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
