dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
