just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
