Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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