i don't like sucking hair
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
