eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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