You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
