im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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