we're blogging at a bar
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
