tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
